Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Tom & Jerry Meet the Censor Monkeys

Well, finally here it is, my latest Censor Monkeys adventure. Before anyone bombards the comments section with well-intentioned critiques let me first ask if any of you out there have ever created a 20 page comic all by yourself doing the writing, drawing, inking, and colouring within a 3 1/2 month period. And if so, what was the result? Well, this is MY result. I can only hope that all who come here enjoy it but I know how flimsy a guarentee that is.

If you haven't been introduced to these monkeys yet or need to refamiliarize yourself with them, you can do so here. Then come back and read the comic.

Also, I should note that there is indeed a joke within this comic that was used on the Colbert Report recently. No, I did NOT borrow it from him. That joke was used on a Colbert show that first aired on April 19 of this year. I came up with the joke for this comic back around January. So even though I predate Mr. Colbert, there is no way he could have seen this comic until now. Therefore, noone stole anything from anyone. It was just an unfortunate coincidence. I do NOT have to steal material. This comic wasn't co-written by Jay Leno or Dane Cook y'know.

Well, enough of my chatter. All readers of this blog please enjoy the comic below. That is with the exception of all real-life censor monkeys and censor monkey sympathizers. In your case, please be offended. And I KNOOOOOOOOOOW you will be.

Okay then, start imagining Scott Bradley's musical score as you begin reading. Take it away MGM lion:

You don't have to read this.  I'm just making a transcipt of the dialogue in the above comic.

Mother Monkey: HOLD IT!  How dare you smoke in front of children.  You'll just create a new generation of smokers.  That's why I only let my children watch wholesome programs.

TV: Come on, Dora, let's explore.

Psychologist Money: Yes, not only that, a cigarette is a phallic symbol.  This could encourage pre-marital sex among children as well.

Priest Monkey: Do NOT put any ideas of fornication into young minds for it clearly states in Thessalonians 4:3 that whom so ever practices such perversions shall suffer...

Scientologist Monkey: GET RID OF THOSE!!  Pills won't help you.  They won't get that little alien soul out of your head.  Here, read these pamphlets.  They'll guide you on your path through Scientology with...

Mother Monkey: There's what I like to see in children's programs: friendship and cooperation.  No!  No!  Stop this violence at once.  You'll influence kids to start fighting like this.

TV: Hey, kids.  Hip Hop Harry says "Play nice with others."

American Monkey: Say, boys, where are you getting this dynamite?  Are you stock-piling?  Getting ready for a massive assault against America?  Did you swipe those WMD's from Iraq before the weapons inspectors could find them and thus make our beloved Commander-in-Chief look foolish?

Mammy 2 Shoes: THOMAS??!!  What's all dat commotion all about?  Is you wreckin' dis house again?  Cuz if you is...

Black Panther Monkey: Halt!  Stop and desist this racist display of People With Color at once, you sell-out.

Mammy 2 Shoes: What?  Listen here!  If I's a racist sell-out than you is Kirk Douglas, WHICH YOU AIN'T!  So you best be goin' right out dat door...OW!

Feminist Monkey: Oh, you're a sell-out alright.  A sell-out to ALL WOMYN KIND!!  How dare you promote the oppressed housewife agenda.  Womyn should NOT be locked up in domestic dungeons serving some phallocentric tyrant.   Cast off the aprons of injustice.  Stand up for... for... um... my face is up HERE, bub.

Mammy 2 Shoes: Who says I'm a housewife?  Honey, I's a swingin' single sewing as many oats as I can.

Victorian Monkey: So you choose to promote yourself as a loose woman going against traditional values.

Priest Monkey: Must I show you Zechariah 5:8?  Hmmmm?

Mammy 2 Shoes: Not before I show you my foot up your...

Not Muhammed Monkey: Wait a minute.  Face is unseen.  Came from above.  THIS IS IMAGE OF MUHAMMED!!

Mammy 2 Shoes: Das it.  These monkeys is crazy.

Not Muhammed Monkey: CRAZY??!!  I show you crazy!  I keeeeell you!

Nazi Monkey: Und now ve take care of YOU and your mouse friend.  Vait!  Vhere is he?  ACHTUNG, MOUSE!!

Jerry: Come ova!  It's oi-jent!  Tanks!

Mammy 2 Shoes: Oh, Thomas!  We's goners now.  Sure as shootin'.

Jerry's Cousin: Listen, monkeys.  Don't go around hasslin' my cousin and his pals, see... or else THIS will happen to you.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

I haven't done this in a while

About a year ago this month, I started doing caricatures of people at work. The first of which was posted up here exactly a year and a day ago. My first victim's name was Logan. Soon afterwards, I got a request from someone else at work. Amy absolutely INSISTED that I render her as well. So I did. Then, a short time later, a made a fun little jumble involving two other people at work. Try and solve it if you can.

I came up with a TV show (or possibly a web-toon) idea called Jeff Mullet. His design is based on an indiviual who was at my animation school for a period of time. I'd tell you more but there's no way you'd believe it. Most of us who went to that school still can't believe it ourselves.

Last fall, I did a caricature for a different reason. Basically it was a dishonourable send-off for this piece of cheese. But, soonafter I made a very favourable caricature as a birthday present for someone at work. (It's the one at the bottom)

And now, here's the latest in my year long tradition of caricaturing co-workers. This one is of Scott. Here he is in a typical conversation with his latino boyfriend Justin. (Yes, I said 'boyfriend'. Y'see, Scott "pitches for the other team" so to speak. And so what if he does?) (Also, I should note that I have no idea what Justin looks like, so I just went with a generic Mexican stereotype. I'm hoping this image is close enough)(And, sorry about the folds in the paper. I took these pictures to work so that I could get Scott's approval before posting these pictures.)

Anyway, enjoy the drawings. Hopefully there'll be more to come.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Something Every Blogger Should See

I'd like to take this time to promote another blog, namely that of David Gemmill. He has just made a post dealing with a past incident he had with a troll. I can certainly sympathize. I've had to deal with some blogger trolls on this little blog of mine. (Hell, once is too many really).

So, if you haven't gone to David Gemmill's blog yet to see what I'm talking about, you can do so here: No Trolls Allowed. I highly recommend it for anyone who's ever had to put up with a nasty troll.