Thursday, March 14, 2024

I SHOT THE ARIF....... BUT I DID NOT SHOOT THE DEPUTY...... WOOO WOOO WOOOOOOOOOO


 The guy in the photo above is Canadian parliamentarian Arif Virani.  Not many people know who he is here in Canada and even less people in the rest of the world have even a wisp of an idea of who he is.  Well, I think it would be a very good idea for more people to know that this man exists and for a rather relevant reason.  He's the carbon(?) based lifeform that is responsible for presenting the following bill into parliament:

Yep, that one.  If that becomes law, people all over Canada could face LIFE in prison for..................... posting "nasty" things on the internet.

WOOO-OO-OOO-OOO-OO! Isn't that scary, kids?  Wow! Did you see that post on Facebook? Or that one on X?  All those...... nasty dirty words!  WOO-OOO-OOO!  Maybe somebody might read those words........ and.... and.... feel sad about them maybe.  And then....... LOOK OUT!  Because......... WOOO-OO-OOO-OOO-OOO! So so scary and....... um........

Oh alright! It's not scary.  Only a meglomaniacal idiot would put anyone in jail for that. 



One of the worst parts is that the dude's proud of this bill.  He's pinned a video of himself singing the bill's praises to the top of his Twitter/X profile and expects it pass into law with impunity.

Mr Arif claims its primary purpose is for "protecting children, especially from seeing porn or being used for porn".  Hey, that's all well and good.  However, Canada already has a law in the books to perform that function:

That one.  Bill 291 is already used to keep kids safe from sexual predators.  C-63 is simply piggybacking on this already established bill as a means to target speech Arif doesn't like, such as.......

Yeah, that old chestnut.  He's making a law against something that doesn't actually exist in the first place.  "Hate Speech" is a bullshit concept created by bullshit people used to stifle speech and spread bullshit.   The only words that could apply here are credible calls for violence.  The rest is just spiced up Rabelaisian content that only the flakiest of flakes can't handle.  This law is nothing but enforcement of mandatory pearl-clutching.

But wait, there's more.....

Um.... yeah.  I've heard of "wrong-think", but this is "wrong-emote".  So, having state-disapproved emotions will be punishable under this law.  How does that work?

Ah ha! But, here's the absolute worst part of the entire law.  This is the part that makes one question if Arif Virani is actually a demon from Hell, an acid-dripping warlord from outer space, or an evil robot built by Gargamel sent to destroy us all.

Wow! Arif wants to arrest people who haven't even committed an offence but IS FEARED that this person(s) will commit an offence at some point in the future.  That's something right out of pretty much every dystopian scifi end of civilization novel you can name.  Even screw-loose senator Joe McCarthy is looking down from his assessment room in purgatory and saying "WTF?".

Those are some of the "big highlights" of this ridiculous law.  I could copy & paste the entire bill from the government's website and post it here, but that would be a long and dry read.  Instead, I'll be a good Gen-Xer and sum it all up with a Simpsons reference.  Such as this thusly:

"...There's alot of shitposters that have got too much freedom.  I want to make it legal for policemen to beat 'em..."

And there you have it.  A Mad Max style dystopian nation created at the mere stroke of a pen if this law is passed.  Arif is, of course, under some delusion that this law will only shield "vulnerable" people from harshness.  But, my prediction for this law is it will play out like Bill c118.  For those who don't know, c118 is a law drawn up that was supposed to force social media companies to pay news organizations in Canada for uploading their content.  You and I have to PAY the social media companies to advertise and promote our stuff, but Canada's news orgs would GET paid for uploading.   However, what happened was social media companies instead just stopped hosting Canadian news altogether.  It only makes business sense on the websites' part.  They would save money by NOT hosting news content that the country's government is forcing them to pay for.  I'm thinking that's all that would happen under c63.  Social media companies, or perhaps even Google as a whole, will simply pull all of their business out of Canada.  It would certainly be easier than combing through every post from the past 20 years looking for "questionable" content AND then tracking every individual down for an arrest.  THEN watch the support of the Arif and his party, the Liberals, plummet to even further depths than anyone could imagine.  

Hey, come to think of it, Arif is not the only perpetrator of trying to pass illiberal censorship and other dystopian nonsense into law.  There's been a bunch over the past few years. There was C-11, a bill that gave the government control over the content in Canada's film industry. Trudeau also rammed through another stifling law with bill C-36. 


And, of course, there's still a whole controversy over the Trudeau government's handling of the Emergencies Act against the truckers' big protest back in 2022.  But, of course, I shouldn't leave out any of the equally dystopian things that former PM Stephen Harper did during his time.  He tried to pass C-11 back when it was called C-10. He also tried to implement a hotline where people could report on any suspicious things Muslims might be doing.  Why have politicians been so brazen to try and enact dubious laws that blatantly violate Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms? Is there a way to put a stop to it?  I think I might have a solution.  Here's a bill I'd love to introduce to parliament some day:


BILL C-8675309: the "READ THE CHARTER, DAMNIT" Act

1) any and all laws introduced to parliament must adhere to the provisions stated in Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms.  Failure to do so would result in any of the following punishments:

   a) immediate loss of political position and title

   b) an automatic prison sentence of up to 35 years 

    c) 2000 hours of community service in the worst part of that MP's constituency

    d) I get to spank that former MP's bare butt with an object of my choice every time I feel like it, and I will always feel like it

There we go. With that bill becoming law, we should never have to deal with any tyrannical politicians ever again.


There's a lot of vitriolic things I could say about this man that I haven't said already.  I draw his with a "classic" Hitler moustache of course.  I could put a Chairman Mao bald spot and mole on his face or a full Castro beard.  A Darth Vader mask?  Naw, that's been done to death.  Depict him as the Eye of Sauron from Lord of the Rings?  No, J.R.R. Tolkien's ghost might sue.  Well, hey, my first thought when I saw this guy for the first time was "his nose looks like a penis".  So, here's my depiction of him:

Arif the Dick-Nosed Censor Monkey

Uh oh!  Would this drawing get me in trouble with the c63 law??? Well, if it does, my response is from a classic Was Not Was song.  Enjoy, and see you on the other side.