Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Is there anything wrong with Pokemon?



Well, it's a vapid one-dimensional pile of fluff that has absolutely nothing that holds my interest.  Of course, that's merely my opinion.  From an objective point of view, it's a show that exists and has a sizeable fanbase since it's debut in Japan in 1997.  The show's immense popularity has even spawned an app called Pokemon Go that is right now a huge phenomenon sweeping the world.  I know my bro-in-law and both his sons (my nephews) enjoy it very much.

So is there a big problem with this franchise?  Meet the dipshit who thinks there's a problem.  His name is Jonathan McIntosh.


His work is familiar to anyone who's ever found themselves sitting through the insipid ramblings of Anita Sarkeesian as she blames all of society's ills on video game cleavage.  He was one of the people behind the scenes on her Youtube videos who helped make that happen.  I do believe that he's the human puffball that coined the phrase "toxic masculinity" as well.
He has since departed her empire for who knows and who cares what reasons in order to embark on his own video series dissecting popular culture from his own myopic perspective.  He recently went on Twitter to offer his analysis that anyone with a functioning brain can see came straight from his (possibly abused) ass:



BWAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!  Dog fighting???  Oh ok!  We're all Michael Vick now because of Pokemon.  What a fucking idiot!  Back in January I made a post about another real-life Censor Monkey.  This McIntosh is not criminally heinous like that one but he is equally a pain in the ass nonetheless. Basically, his Twitter rant constitutes the rhetoric of two of the Censor Monkeys:  the Horrible Mother Monkey for making it seem like the show is bad for kids and the Psychologist Monkey for implying that it could have a negative psychological effect somehow.  But of course what he's really saying is "I can't handle it so nobody else should be able to either" which is typical of his ilk.

I'll give another reason why this asshat is stupid and wrong.  It has to do with the making of the Bugs Bunny cartoon Bully For Bugs.


It all started one fine day in the early 1950's when animation director extraordinaire Chuck Jones (to the left) was killing some time by practicing his doodling which he did quite often.  While pondering what to draw, he remembered that he'd never tried to capture the hulking mass of a bull's muscular structure.  So, he felt this was an opportunity to do just that.  After he had drawn several bulls (some better than others according to his opinion I'm sure) the producer and head boss of the Warner Bros. animation studio Ed Selzer (to the right) was walking by and looked over Chuck's shoulder to see what the doodles were.  When he saw that they were bulls he sharply bellowed "NO!  I don't want any cartoons about bull fights.  Bull fights are NOT funny!"  This rang a bell inside Mr. Jones' head.  He had no intention of making a bull fight cartoon before that.  But, Mr. Selzer had a nice long track record of being wrong so far (and there were many more incidents to come in the future).  For instance, Selzer did not want them to pair Tweety with Sylvester.  He then looked the fool when their first cartoon together won Looney Tunes' first Oscar.  He also thought that nobody would laugh at or even appreciate a Pepe Le Pew cartoon.  But, in Selzer fashion, he had to eat those words when the third Pepe Le Pew cartoon won an Oscar.  He also objected to the name of the first Roadrunner & Wile E. Coyote cartoon Fast and Furry-ous stating that "furious is spelled wrong".


So, since he'd been wrong about so many other things, Chuck knew he had to be wrong about bull fight cartoons as well.  So right away Chuck got together with his main writer Mike Maltese, told him what had just happened, and the two of them got to work coming up with ideas about Bugs Bunny doing some bull fighting.  To both of their delight, all the elements came together quite easily.  The end result was the aforementioned Bully For Bugs.  It didn't win an Oscar or any other accolades, but it always makes pretty much everyone's top 10 list of Bugs Bunny's filmography.

I brought all of this up because McIntosh's sentiments about Pokemon seem eerily similar to Selzer's opinion of bull fight cartoons.  Because of this uncanny parallel, I would like to suggest we all do to Jonathan McIntosh what Chuck Jones, Mike Maltese, and everyone else at the WB studio did to Eddie Selzer.  We should ignore and even defy whatever authority JM thinks he has pretty much to the point where we're doing the exact opposite of what he says.  If he's got a crybaby problem with all of these Pokemon creatures fighting each other, then I implore all who are using this Pokemon Go app to collect all of the creatures you can and have them all fight in what could look like the biggest drag-em-out, glove dropping, bench clearing, tooth finding, hockey brawl the world has ever seen.



Oh and definitely feel free to enjoy the fruits of Chuck's and Mike's labours Bully For Bugs embedded below.



 For all of those hardcore Pokemon fans out there, this is what a cohesive story with a satisfying conclusion looks like.

Tuesday, July 05, 2016

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Donald Trump is a.................



M-M-M-M-MONKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey!!!!!

Wait!  I forget.  Did mention that Donald Trump is a monkey?

Whatever!  Enjoy some Monkey Business from the Marx Brothers below while you're here.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Another Regina Fan Expo is In The Can


...and I was honoured to be a part of it.  I think I've recovered my regular sleep pattern so now it is indeed possible to make this blog post.

This was my display table.
This was table number.

And this was my name tag.
The money I made in no way made up for what it cost to reserve a table there, but I would say that it was definitely worth it.  Because of my presence at this event, that many more people are aware of my comic book and the Censor Monkeys who have the potential to intern tell others about it. Any and all exposure is better than none.

I sadly couldn't get anywhere near any of the celebs that visited the expo because I had to stay at my table the whole time, but I did hear about a few things from people who had walked by and talked to me.  One of those things said was that Brent Spiner was a no show.  No-one knew why he cancelled at the last minute.  My guess is that since he's a robot his parameters were set to "disappoint people".


I also was told that at this expo Dirk Benedict was grumpy.  Hmmmmmmm


But yet at the same time, Grumpy was not Dirk Benedict.  Interesting how that works out.


That's all the expo 'scuttlebutt' I heard.  So now I'd like to talk about my experience at this event: people's reaction to my book Censor Monkeys Have No Class.  They were varied and intriguing to say the least.  I remember one person calling my work "creative".  Another person had a similar sentiment saying it was "unique and appealing in a million different ways".  There was also a guy who said of my work "the SJW's will be in an uproar" which is pretty much the point really.  One guy flipped through my book and loved what he saw which inspired him to buy it.  Upon doing so, he showed it to his girlfriend whose reply might have been something like "why would you buy that?"  I was too far away to clearly hear exactly what she said but I could see that sentiment in her facial expression.  My favourite response came from two girls in high school (or University) who said "we should get this book and put it in the school library".  My response to that was, "tell me the name of your school and I'll do it".  You know what, I might just do that.
The reaction I found the most baffling was that of a man who identified as a feminist.  He found the book "problematic" of course, but his critique of the Feminist Monkey made me almost jump back a little bit.  He claimed that this particular monkey was 'highly sexualized'.  Um................. what???


I....................... would not "tap that".  In fact, for me that would be one of the least tappable creatures imaginable.  Oh well.  Everybody has their own bizarre fetish.

Like I've done at other comic book events in the past, I took pictures of everyone who approached my booth while in a costume.  The resulting pictures like always are posted below:

Saturday


Actually, the first costume I'm posting is not from a patron but moreso a mannequin.  The girl in the booth beside me made her own costumes for sale and this majestic pirate costume was one of them.  I just had to take a picture of it.  I personally can't even sew a button on without making my thumb bleed so I admire her skill and patience with her creations.  Damnit I forget her name.


Here's a big man with a big gun.  A more jealous wag would indicate that he is "trying to over-compensate for something".  Forget that!  This is one badass costume.  This man should feel proud.


This guy had a wicked cool Deadpool costume, but started walking away before I could ask him to pose for a picture.  So, I snapped this little candid shot as quick as I could.  I think I'll sell this to TMZ later.


Here's a nice neo-victorian number.  Beard-o looks triggered.  PHHHFTT!!!


This lady right here is no mere attendee.  She's actually a rather accomplished singer and youtuber named Tara St Michel.  She was there making her own documentary of the Fan Expo and was nice enough to stop by my table.  Her youtube video of this event is embedded below:


Also check out the rest of her youtube channel.


Here's a nice lovely couple.  I'm not sure what the guy's costume is.  From the looks of it, the lady's costume seems to be someone who fondles the breasts of short invisible women.  That sounds like a fun thing to be.


I believe these are school girls from Hogwarts.  No, I didn't ask which one of them was Tootie.  They wouldn't have got that anyway.


A Rei costume.  There were a lot of those at this Fan Expo of course.  


Again, I'm only guessing at what the costume could me.  I have no idea about the guy.  My guess for the girl's costume is that she is someone who fixes all the flat tires on her bicycle with a cut out piece of her pants.  That's an interesting concept for a super hero.



Here are some friends of mine: Jim and his wife Darla.  Like the sign says below, they are indeed 75 cents each.  Believe me, that is a bargain.  Go pick them up at your favourite Dollar Store today.


Another Hogwarts student.  Hey, does Voldemort know that a few of his students cut class to come to this event?  I'm not sure what the penalty for truancy is at Hogwarts but I'm betting it can't be good.

And that was my Saturday.  I made a few sales and all was good.

Sunday

After leaving the Fan Expo on Saturday I went home to have a bit of supper.  Then I lay down for a bit before heading off to work my night shift job.  My job ended a little after 7 am.  From there I went straight home, had a shower, got redressed and headed right back to the Fan Expo all during the time I should have been sleeping.  Then I had to be awake for the rest of the Expo until 5 pm when it was time for everyone to go home.  So, needless to say I was a bit wired that day.  But, in the mean time, I enjoyed the following costumes that came my way:


I saw Marvin!!!!  No, I didn't 'make him angry'.



This little girl was dressed like Rick Moranis from The Little Shop of Horrors.  Wow!  She wasn't even born when Rick Moranis retired from show business.  I feel old.



I think a French mime just got married to a Gestapo agent.  I really don't want to know what the kids will look like.


Okay, this little joker never actually approached my table.  However, he was constantly mesmerized by my artwork.  He stared and stared at it for I think collectively a half an hour.  I'm not sure what could have held his attention that long.  Go back to my table display photo at the top and try to figure that out.

Here's an elvan princess.  Dressed in purple to mourn Prince's passing obviously.


Here we have Super Girl.  Buying that purse made out of kryptonite was probably not a good idea.


This girl right here is dressed for the prom.  Weird because it's still only April.  I guess she's so confident that she passed all her classes that she's celebrating early.  Get down with your bad self, girl.


Also, this little princess came to my table.  She didn't buy a book at all because in her opinion 'the monkeys are too scary'.  Yes, little girl, yes they are.  These monkeys are the scariest creatures EVEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!  If you see them in your neighbourhood get rid of them by any means immediately!!!


Hey, look!  The CBC news crew came down my aisle.  So if you watched footage of this event on the CBC you probably saw my table in the background somewhere.

And that was my Regina Fan Expo experience.  I hope you enjoyed reading about it as much as I enjoyed being there.  Hey, if you were at this event on either day and you saw yourself in any one of these photos, definitely give a shout out of "OMG! THAT'S ME THAT'S ME THAT'S ME THAT'S ME......" in the comment section or wherever.

I'm definitely looking forward to next year.

Saturday, April 09, 2016

Here I Come, Fan Expo

That's right.  I'm going to be at this year's Fan Expo in Regina on April 23 & 24.  However, I will not be some mere costumed attendee just hanging out having some fun.  There's nothing wrong with being one of those of course.  Hell, I myself want as many of those people there as possible.  I say this because I will occupy at table in the Artist's Alley selling my most recent comic book Censor Monkeys Have No Class.  Posted below is the overhead map of the general area at Evraz Place.  I have highlighted in red where my table will be.


My table is labelled "a53".  I have no idea who the other artists are that will be beside me, behind me or in front of me.  So, if anyone reading this has also been lucky enough to receive a table either in Artist's Ally, the Retailer's section or the Community section, feel free to shout out your table numbers here.  Then we can all know who we are and be fast pals or something.

Besides my book, I'll have other swag and merchandise for sale.  Definitely come on over and buy something for yourself or as a gift for someone you love.  Let's all have a good time.

Of course, there's bigger reasons to come down to the Fan Expo as well.  There's a few celebrities that people in the Queen City may want to meet in person:

James & Oliver Phelps
They play the twins Fred and George Weasley in the Harry Potter movies.  I'm sure they have something "on the side" with those Full House twins.  Who knows.
Verne Troyer
He of course became famous for playing  Mini Me in two of the three Austin Powers movies.  But he also plays Griphook in the Harry Potter movies. 
Brent Spiner
He's most known as Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation.  He also played the villain in the ill-fated Dana Carvey vehicle Master of Disguise, but I'm sure if you mentioned that one to him he'll punch you.
Matt Frewer
He's best known as that super cool dude character Max Headroom.  For everyone who is Generation Y and younger and thus would have absolutely no idea who that was, I have embedded a clip of him below.  Enjoy!

Yes, it was the '80's!

Dirk Benedict
Best known as Face on The A-Team and Lt. Starbuck on Battlestar Galactica.  I am so stoked for him being there.  The A-Team is easily a childhood favourite of mine which I still enjoy today.
Sean Astin
He became most famous as Frodo's friend Sam in the Lord of the Rings movies.  He was also in such films as Rudy, Encino Man, and got his big start in The Goonies as a kid.
Trina Nishimura
She has done numerous voices for anime shows.  Her most recents examples are Ellen Mira Mathers in Date A Live II and Miyabi Azumaya in Dimension W.  (Yes I had to look those up)


Jamie Marchi
She's another anime voice actress.  Her most recent work are Yuka Amado from Maken Ki! 2 as well as Akira Aoi in Selector Spread Wixoss

It looks like fun will be had by all.

Another thing to keep in mind when you see me at my table is that I'm doing this while still working a full time job.  On the weekends that job happens to be a nightshift position.  That means for me Saturday day will be fine, but then I'll have to work all of Saturday night.  Then soon after I finish that night shift I'll have to go back to Evraz Place to be at my table all day instead of sleeping.  Following that, I'll be going back to work to do another night shift again instead of sleeping.  So on Sunday, I could be pretty wired.  Oh well, I did that same thing at Hal Con back in 2011 and at the AubCon back in 2014.  I am definitely prepared to go through that again.  Oh hey, I'd better give a nice shout out to my "sponsor" then.


...when sleep is not an option!
So, come one come all to the Fan Expo.  Wear a costume and have a good time.  I know I will.  I think I'll even live tweet the event just for a lark.  Of course, like I said, since I'll be coasting on little to no sleep on Sunday, some of those Sunday tweets could be to say the least interesting.  I'm sure we're all looking forward to that.

See you there!