Tuesday, January 14, 2014

It's not my cup of tea

That is what I was told when I tried to sell my comic Censor Monkeys Have No Class to a comic book store here in town.  The proprietor also told me that "he did not think that the book would not be suitable for his customers".  In order to protect the sanity of everyone involved, I will not reveal the name of that establishment.  All I will say is that I'm of course not at all happy his decision but it was his decision to make.  Like a recent review of my book said, you'll either love it or you'll hate it.  he obviously chose the latter. I have to respect his business practices just as much as he has to respect the design and content of my book.
While I do respect that, I also have to point out that those reasons do still seem rather vague and non-committal.  It's as if there was something he wanted to tell me but either didn't or couldn't.  That does make me a little intrigued as to what the real reasons were.  Maybe the current CEO of Marvel Comics was in the back room pointing a gun at the proprietor's head forcing him to reject my book.  I'm pretty sure that's not the first time Marvel has used that tactic.  I think that's how Spawn went out of business.
He did read it all the way through before rendering his decision.  Maybe after a thorough going over he found many holes in the story and/or the satire.  I doubt that because I made sure the entire narrative was solid, but who knows what he managed to spot.
Or, more despicably, he's one of those people who actually sympathizes with any or all of the Censor Monkeys in the book.  If that's the case, well then TO THE MOON with that guy!!

Ugh!  Why does everyone on Earth want to send all their jerks to me??!!
Oh well.  What's done is done.  There's nothing I can do about it now.  All I can do is make sure my dealings with the next comic book store owner go much smoother.

But I can't help wondering if maybe something could have been done.  Was there a way I could have better persuaded him to accept my comic into his store.  If only I had some sort of time machine or something.

Maybe I can help!
WOW!  Noted and accomplished time travelling physicist Samual Beckett.  You want to help me with this?  Cool!  Go right ahead.

Okay!  Here I go!

You can't look at this book like the others.  There's a level of satire just below the surface that......
......consider the subtext...... [moan].......... juvenalian satire............ [grooooooooooooan]........
[ooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww].................. well, I tried.

Thank you for trying, Sam.  Tell Ziggy that I say hi.

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