Take a good look at the two pictures below. One is of Stephen Colbert, the other is of my nephew, Michael. There is one unmistakable similarity. Can you see it?
Did you find it. WHAT??!! You didn't??!! Unless your the ghost of Ray Charles there's no excuse for missing it. Take another look. Scan both of them pixel by pixel if necessary.
You're just not seeing it, eh?
It's not one of those stupid eye-distortion pictures from the '90's. It should be absolutely 100% obvious.
Don't give me that look. I know that look. You do that every time. You tell me it's "too hard" when really you're just too...
Oh, alright. Here:
That's
right. That's the one thing my nephew and Mr. Colbert both have in
common. They both BEAR THE MARK! (oh, and....... sorry things got so heated back there.... I get that way sometimes. Are we still buds?)
Anyway, YES! Both have the mark. A
mark that no mere mortal man would have. The prophesy of such a mark has been told and retold through the generations. Many ancient civilizations talk of "the frightfully asymmetrical head of doom" that will one day come and strike fear into the hearts of man and beast alike.
And lo, a son will be born onto earth. He will appear as mortal as any man only one of his ears will resemble that of a demon spawn. When that son doth grow to that of a man, another will be born possessing the same demonic lobe. Combined, their evil powers will bring about ruin and destruction for all. Rivers will boil. Mountains will crumble. Cats will do it 'doggy-style' and dogs will do it 'kitty-style'. And when all is still, Satan will rise up from Hades and laugh maniacally.
-Revelations : ........... trust me, it's in there.
It appears that the prophesy has come to pass. Evil officially walks the earth as of this posting. Though these men have not yet come in contact, they are upon the earth at similar times withi
n man's calander. It is quite possible that they could meet, perhaps secretly. The
n, when the moment is right, they could combine their powers and bring about an event similar to the coming Apocolypse only with much more of an intense searing pain (and possibly a little bit of cow tipping).
"What are we to do", you may be asking. "Is there anywhere we can hide from this onslaught of destruction?" You may also ask. Well, the ancient ones do speak of an oasis of sorts. According to their legends, underneath the tallest mountain, deeper than the furthest depths of the ocean, lies a po
rthole. It is said that if one passes through this porthole one is telleported onto the surface of the moon. Once there, the evil that walks the earth is more visible and therefore and easier target. Somewhere on the moon's surface is a stone made of granite and zirconium. If 10 of the most purest and righteous men touch that stone, it will emit a beam powerful enough to thwart Satan's children (or at least make them turn around and go "huh?")
You now what I think Iron Maiden said it best:
But, that is but a legend. When the final days come and we must all fight against Colbert and Michael at their peak, all we can do is offer them some Babe Ruth bars and hope for the best.
Ha ha ha! No, neither of them are evil. They just have funny looking ears is all. I hope one day, they do become friends.
