Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Tom & Jerry Meet the Censor Monkeys

Well, finally here it is, my latest Censor Monkeys adventure. Before anyone bombards the comments section with well-intentioned critiques let me first ask if any of you out there have ever created a 20 page comic all by yourself doing the writing, drawing, inking, and colouring within a 3 1/2 month period. And if so, what was the result? Well, this is MY result. I can only hope that all who come here enjoy it but I know how flimsy a guarentee that is.

If you haven't been introduced to these monkeys yet or need to refamiliarize yourself with them, you can do so here. Then come back and read the comic.

Also, I should note that there is indeed a joke within this comic that was used on the Colbert Report recently. No, I did NOT borrow it from him. That joke was used on a Colbert show that first aired on April 19 of this year. I came up with the joke for this comic back around January. So even though I predate Mr. Colbert, there is no way he could have seen this comic until now. Therefore, noone stole anything from anyone. It was just an unfortunate coincidence. I do NOT have to steal material. This comic wasn't co-written by Jay Leno or Dane Cook y'know.

Well, enough of my chatter. All readers of this blog please enjoy the comic below. That is with the exception of all real-life censor monkeys and censor monkey sympathizers. In your case, please be offended. And I KNOOOOOOOOOOW you will be.

Okay then, start imagining Scott Bradley's musical score as you begin reading. Take it away MGM lion:



























You don't have to read this.  I'm just making a transcipt of the dialogue in the above comic.

Mother Monkey: HOLD IT!  How dare you smoke in front of children.  You'll just create a new generation of smokers.  That's why I only let my children watch wholesome programs.

TV: Come on, Dora, let's explore.

Psychologist Money: Yes, not only that, a cigarette is a phallic symbol.  This could encourage pre-marital sex among children as well.

Priest Monkey: Do NOT put any ideas of fornication into young minds for it clearly states in Thessalonians 4:3 that whom so ever practices such perversions shall suffer...

Scientologist Monkey: GET RID OF THOSE!!  Pills won't help you.  They won't get that little alien soul out of your head.  Here, read these pamphlets.  They'll guide you on your path through Scientology with...

Mother Monkey: There's what I like to see in children's programs: friendship and cooperation.  No!  No!  Stop this violence at once.  You'll influence kids to start fighting like this.

TV: Hey, kids.  Hip Hop Harry says "Play nice with others."

American Monkey: Say, boys, where are you getting this dynamite?  Are you stock-piling?  Getting ready for a massive assault against America?  Did you swipe those WMD's from Iraq before the weapons inspectors could find them and thus make our beloved Commander-in-Chief look foolish?

Mammy 2 Shoes: THOMAS??!!  What's all dat commotion all about?  Is you wreckin' dis house again?  Cuz if you is...

Black Panther Monkey: Halt!  Stop and desist this racist display of People With Color at once, you sell-out.

Mammy 2 Shoes: What?  Listen here!  If I's a racist sell-out than you is Kirk Douglas, WHICH YOU AIN'T!  So you best be goin' right out dat door...OW!

Feminist Monkey: Oh, you're a sell-out alright.  A sell-out to ALL WOMYN KIND!!  How dare you promote the oppressed housewife agenda.  Womyn should NOT be locked up in domestic dungeons serving some phallocentric tyrant.   Cast off the aprons of injustice.  Stand up for... for... um... my face is up HERE, bub.

Mammy 2 Shoes: Who says I'm a housewife?  Honey, I's a swingin' single sewing as many oats as I can.

Victorian Monkey: So you choose to promote yourself as a loose woman going against traditional values.

Priest Monkey: Must I show you Zechariah 5:8?  Hmmmm?

Mammy 2 Shoes: Not before I show you my foot up your...

Not Muhammed Monkey: Wait a minute.  Face is unseen.  Came from above.  THIS IS IMAGE OF MUHAMMED!!

Mammy 2 Shoes: Das it.  These monkeys is crazy.

Not Muhammed Monkey: CRAZY??!!  I show you crazy!  I keeeeell you!

Nazi Monkey: Und now ve take care of YOU and your mouse friend.  Vait!  Vhere is he?  ACHTUNG, MOUSE!!

Jerry: Come ova!  It's oi-jent!  Tanks!

Mammy 2 Shoes: Oh, Thomas!  We's goners now.  Sure as shootin'.

Jerry's Cousin: Listen, monkeys.  Don't go around hasslin' my cousin and his pals, see... or else THIS will happen to you.

18 comments:

Craig D said...

Bravo! That was better than I dared hope for, David!

Well done and thanks for sharing.

(What is this Colbert Report thing you mention? No cable TV at my household, though there have many repeated viewing of Dora videos for the young 'un...)

David Germain said...

It's the one statement that the American Monkey makes. Stephen accused Sean Penn of doing just that just before their big "metaphor battle".

J.E.Daniels said...

That's pretty awesome David!
Love the Tom Cruise gag!
Congrats on a piece of artwork!

doogie said...

wow... that was very ambitious.
I like it because it is extremely weird. It's not exactly Tom & Jerry draftsmanship but f*ck it. It's your own thing. Stick with it. Lose the anger/ circa 2004 topical humor and you'll really have something.

So the Censor monkeys are obviously in control. Here's a challenge: find a common ground and make THEM laugh!

R2K said...

I love it.

Coyote said...

My sincere applause to you!
I did laugh at several moments, such as Tom trying to take aspirin only to have it smacked from his hand. Not to mention the great onomatopoeia including Banf! and Pank!

Arschblog said...

Your comic is so funny!!!!
I like the first part when the comic start as Tom & Jerry cartoon and I like the second part with the stupid monkeys! XD
You really made this comic? WOW, great work!!!

The comic really show how people are! It is crazy what some people find in cartoons(like the part where Mighty Mouse sniff on the flower), these stupid people(monkeys) must have lots of time and hate cartoons.
I remember when I was watching cartoons my stepfather always said how stupid and violent cartoons are, he said exactly the same things like the horrible monkey mother "that kids could copy this and hurting himself and other kids". That what he said is stupid(he is a monkey too!XD), because the "violent" gags were made that even youngest kids know that's not real and that these gags are made to be be funny!
That's why cartoons are made for, it should be funny and the characters can do everything!

Each part of your comic is funny, I like your character design and I can see how much fun you had as you made the comic!:)
The monkey with the hanging tits
is hilarious!XD
I hope you will make more!=)

Alina Chau said...

This is awesome!!

The GagaMan(n) said...

Fan-bloody-tastic! Loved the appearance by Jerry's Cousin at the end, I haven't seen him in donkey's years!

C.L. Young said...

Nice work.

Let's see you do a Looney Tunes one next. There's more objectionable stuff to pick from in the LT cartoons than in Tom and Jerry. Not to say that you shouldn't have done this; it's great, but the Looney Tunes meet the Censor Monkeys has the potential of being funnier (only because I imagine each Censor Monkey complaining about a Looney Tunes gag and the characters actually fighting back instead of calling upon someone else).

Kali Fontecchio said...

That must have taken forever!

Hey- I know this is a weird question but....

are you black?

Curiousity killed the Kali.

David Germain said...

Kali, I'll answer your question with Weird Al lyrics.

"I'm nerdy in the extreme, whiter than sour cream." ;)

David Germain said...

C.L.,

The Censor Monkeys having a runin with the Looney Tunes would be a huuuuuuuuge project indeed. If you think about it, each and every LT character has some aspect of their personality/routine that would upset each monkey (one of the many reasons that the Looney Tunes are some of the greatest characters ever created).

I'm not saying that such a project is not doable. I'd just need to hire a crew to get it done because of how long such a comic would become.

Oh, and thanks to everyone else for their comments: craig d, j.e.daniels, doogie, r2k, coyote, arschblog, alina chau, the gagaman(n), and Kali. It's much appreciated.

:: smo :: said...

haha yes! nice little scientology crack there! fun stuff!

and thanks for the comment on my blog man!

i'll have to scope out some of your other stuff!

C.L. Young said...

[QUOTE]C.L.,

The Censor Monkeys having a runin with the Looney Tunes would be a huuuuuuuuge project indeed. If you think about it, each and every LT character has some aspect of their personality/routine that would upset each monkey (one of the many reasons that the Looney Tunes are some of the greatest characters ever created).

I'm not saying that such a project is not doable. I'd just need to hire a crew to get it done because of how long such a comic would become.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, you're right, but this can be your own personal "Trapped in the Closet" (that R. Kelly hip-hopera that spans a buttload of chapters), culminating to all of the Looney Tunes characters settling their differences and doing away with the Censor Monkeys.

And I know every Looney Tunes character has a routine/personality trait that would upset the Censor Monkeys (though I think an Animal Rights Censor Monkey should be added since Foghorn Leghorn's schtick is abusing that dog and making him choke on his leash and Elmer likes to hunt for sport).

And there's so much that the Horrible Mother Monkey, the prude Victorian era Monkey, the Preacher Monkey, the Black Panthers Monkey, and the Feminazi Monkey can pick apart with the Looney Tunes.

With your permission (and once I get my schoolwork out of the way), I'd like to write a script for you about how I think this would pan out. I'm familiar with your Censor Monkey characters and the Looney Tunes, so why not? You can help too.

David Germain said...

Yeah, you're right, but this can be your own personal "Trapped in the Closet" (that R. Kelly hip-hopera that spans a buttload of chapters), culminating to all of the Looney Tunes characters settling their differences and doing away with the Censor Monkeys.

With your permission (and once I get my schoolwork out of the way), I'd like to write a script for you about how I think this would pan out. I'm familiar with your Censor Monkey characters and the Looney Tunes, so why not? You can help too.


If you've got the time and energy to do so, go right ahead. Sounds like it could be fun.

Although I wouldn't have each LT character do away with the censor monkeys. I mean, if say Porky disposes of them then how and why would they have the nerve to go after Foghorn Leghorn, Pepe Le Pew, Tweety, etc....? I think it would be better if the monkeys all won their battles with the characters until the last one where they can lose BIG TIME!! It would be great if you could get Sander Schwartz caught in the crossfire as well. >:P

Good luck. I look forward to it.

Kali Fontecchio said...

' "I'm nerdy in the extreme, whiter than sour cream." ;)" '

Cause on my blog I think you said something like, "my unnatural black ass." So I got confused, ahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

You forgot the spelling police...

"It's SOWING wild oats! Not -"sewing"!

Is it beeing two PC to call for some Corrict speiling and Grandma?